Is it Racism?

As said in the words of the brilliant and immortal Shakespeare "Me thinks the lady doth protest too much."

The frantic scramble to analyze whether the country's reactions to our first black president has underlying tones of racism is abundant evidence of exactly that- our culture is racist. Politicians, essayists, reporters, pundits and those people on TV who are experts in nothing except air-time, have spent the last week in the classic dance that occurs to cope when a secret has been exposed. There has been nonstop debate, discussion, a glut of "experts" and opinions, deflection, blame, plenty of "I'm the real victim here" slinging of accusations, and general "I got caught with my hand in the cookie jar" behavior. Nothing exposes flaws so much as a chaotic attempt to cover them up.

Media of every format have spent the last week hauling out everyone and anyone who has brown skin, written a book on race, commented on race, or has an opinion on race to "debate" whether racism is operative in our country's reaction to our first black president. Sadly, the question at hand is not whether racism is at play, of course it is. The more important question is how do we confront the racism that is holding the American public back from working in collaboration with one of the most dedicated, productive and potentially restorative public servants we have elected in decades. The question is, why would the American public allow our own conscious and unconscious racism to stop us from letting our elected President make our country better, stronger, more financially stable, re-establish ourselves as a respected world power, and give us affordable health care to boot- tasks he's already on the path to accomplish in a mere eight months in office. Why would Americans stand in the way of everything we want for themselves and our country? When we see this happening, we must realize how irrational it is and conclude that there must be something as diabolical as racism at play to convince Americans to believe such lies and attempt to discredit and disempower a leader who is trying to help us.

When we see the American public believing outright lies and infernal hateful rumors and viscously attacking a man who is trying to offer us affordable and comprehensive health care. We need to ask ourselves- what is wrong? In this country racism is not a far-fetched conclusion. Our country has a long difficult history with trying to shake its addiction to racism, and like any soul in recovery- the process is slow and only happens one day at a time. (even if the alcoholic stops drinking, alcoholic behavior takes a lifetime to change). When we hear American people who have benefited from such positive socialist aspects of our capitalist system as police, firefighters, Medicaid and Medicare comparing our president to Hitler, we must acknowledge that racism is at play, and being used as a tool to inflame this irrationality. Only a deeply rooted hatred such as racism can be used to fuel such irrational fears that lead to the level of violence that is brewing on the streets, town halls, and now the congress of our country. When the American public wants to accuse someone of causing a fear-based movement akin to Nazi Germany, we have only to look in the mirror to see who is the real tyrant here. I despise Holocaust comparisons, but I challenge those now shaking their heads as if you are not part of the problem, to recall the moments you have sat around intellectual circles positing the theoretical "what would I have done back then?" and realize that now is the time to put your answers into effect before things get worse. Speak out and shut down the disease of hate-fueled misinformation and mob mentality that is spreading like a virus through your country.

Thank you, Jimmy Carter for once again for speaking truth in the face of deep seated American denial. Jimmy Carter has always been one to speak truth to power, but more important, he has always been straight with the American people that the fate, success, and failures of this country are not merely the responsibility of the government, but on their shoulders as well. The American public, however does not take kindly to accepting this responsibility. The reaction to his infamous "malaise speech" that is credited for tanking his presidential career is a great example. However, when the American public threw Carter out of office in favor of Ronald Reagan who campaigned on a platform based on a strong diet of self-denial (seasoned with ketchup which he later declared a vegetable so he would not have to provide actual vegetables to poor children as part of the school lunch program- which should offer a clear sense of how much denial of reality and responsibility that Reagan brought and the American public ate up) they made a strong statement that taking responsibility for this country is not something Americans do easily. The movement to elect President Obama began to show Americans that this country is theirs to care for and electing government officials is only one part of that responsibility. President Obama is the first person to hold this office since Jimmy Carter who brings honesty back to the table- not only an honesty from his office, but an expectation of honesty and partnership from congress and from the American people. What is happening in the streets of America and in the congress is not only racism, but a failure of the American public to participate fully, fairly, and honestly in the process by which this country is run.

Racism in America is no surprise, The desire to sabotage our country's own success is mind-boggling. But the combination of the two is where the uncomfortable soul-searching that will change the course of this country happens: Do Americans resent the success of a black man so much that we would sacrifice the future of our nation? This is the question that the American public will answer through our actions, words, and treatment of the leader of our country over the next four to eight years.


damali ayo is an artist and comedian. She is the author of the critically acclaimed, How to Rent a Negro and the forthcoming Obamistan! Land Without Racism: Your Guide to the New America.

Pop Rocks: We're Dropping Like Flies.

Apparently, I am bad luck.

I used to think this when I lived in DC. Every time I watched the Capitals play (I was a hockey fan) they'd lose. Now it's happening again. When I get attached to a person of color on television, they get kicked off.

I thought it was just a fluke. Then I tuned in to one single episode of The Biggest Loser, this season, (a show I was obsessed with then stopped watching when I became a personal trainer and then realized that I hated it and that I should not make career choices based on my TV watching habits). Something wasn't on last week and I found myself tuning in to catch the last half hour when, you guessed it, they sent a black woman home.

Hm.

This week also, Trump sent T-Boz packing on the Celeb Apprentice. Moral of the story- do not put your job on the line for a white woman. It's your position that will go in the dumpster. Obama, take note.

Then, and this is a sad moment, and I know the desi blogs are all a flutter. I tuned in, as I do every Monday (yes, in real un-TiVo time) to watch House MD. My weekly dose of "black, brown and bi" (as House says) makes me feel right at home. I secretly want to marry every actor on the show, but I have vowed no more marriage proposals.

The show starts off with my being very excited- Kutner (played by Kal Penn) is late for work- q'uel mystery! Maybe he's finally going to get some story line and some more air time. Last week they gave his character a bit more chutzpah than usual. This could lead to something great.

But no. He's not just late to work, he's dead.

So tonight I turn off the television with three less people of color to watch. And, honestly, I feel just that much more alone in our supposedly shared culture.

Apparently, I have not made my point clear here- some people are claiming that I am simply kvetching about the plight of people of color in our culture and finding racism where it doesn't exist. It's not that, I assure you. Just think, there has never been, will probably never be a moment when you are watching a reality TV (or any TV) show and think "oh bummer, there's no more white people to watch." Get it? For us, there is constantly the feeling of being picked off, one at a time to the point of extinction. It gets grim after a while, not only because we want to see ourselves represented on television (in respectable non-minstrel ways), but because it mirrors real life. Many people of color, myself included have had the feeling of being counted out one by one until we are either the last one in the room, or the ones standing outside of the room with our numbers on the outside disproportionate to the numbers of white people on the inside. It's not in our heads. It's real.

This is why I find it an important enough marker of our culture to blog about.

I just hope they give President Obama and his cabinet of diversity more time. But then again, I've been watching the American public try to put out his torch since he took office.

Which is to say that Taj on Survivor is holding on strong. Hang in there lady. I'd hate to put the hope of several brown-skinned races on you, but you know how it goes- that's just the way it is. I'm sure you're used to it.

Pop Rocks: Reality Check

I tried not to watch the Celebrity Apprentice, but well, it hooked me. There's something about the combination of Joan Rivers, T-Boz and a completely gonzo Dennis Rodman that keeps my attention.

So tonight I sat down to indulge in a couple of hours (why is it so long?) of celebrity mayhem but was instead reminded of how far we have to go and how deeply racial stereotypes are embedded in our consciousness.

Today's task is to run and manage a hotel, with an emphasis on service and domestic duties.
The teams are asked to pick a project manager.

The women's team has only one woman of color left- T-Boz from one of my all-time favorite music groups, TLC. The four white women, who are her team, chatter "it's going to be all about people, and interaction...." and though T-Boz has been one of the quietest, non interactive members of the team, they all turn to her and say "Tionne, I think this would be a good task for you to 'step up' and lead."

People who aren't sensitive to the continual casting of black women in domestic roles might give lots of examples for why this happened. I have to say that the more obvious choice would have been the golf champion, who also needed to take turn as project manager, and who, knowing golf culture and the types of resorts that must be regular part of her life and career, has probably seen some of the most service-oriented places in the world.

This was not even considered. The women turned without a beat unanimously to the singular black woman remaining on the team and put her right where they see a black woman- in charge of the maids.

To add salt to the wound, while on other episodes they do plenty of interviews with the project manger as the show goes on, Tionne's first appearance on camera (after a good portion of the task had been completed, and several interviews with the other members of her team) was in full maid gear doing "turn down" service in the rooms.

The show is still on as I type this, and Dennis Rodman is headed for an on-camera alcoholic break that will undoubtedly garner more attention than this moment, but I wanted to note it.

It is often hard to describe the kind of racism that continues to pervade our culture. It is hard to explain to people how deep their racial bias is buried inside of their thoughts and actions (or un-thoughts and inaction) but for those of us who have lived our lives trying to be seen as more than the woman who cleans up after you, this stuff shows up like blood on crime-scene shows, with our experience and understanding acting as the illuminating "black light." We simply can see what others lack the skills, tools, training, or willingness to see. (Which is to say that there are lots of ways you can aquire the ability to see it, if you so choose.)

It reminds me of driving to soccer games with my high school mates and listening to the Rolling Stones song "Brown Sugar" on the radio. I'd sing at the top of my lungs "Just like a black girl should" when that lyric came on. All heads would turn. "I never knew it said that!" My answer, was often "you should listen more closely." Later I would do three art works based on the lyrics of that song, including hand-crafting 187 brown sugar packets with the lyrics on them.

This is why the second point in the I Can Fix Racism guide is "Listen." We must find a way not only to listen to people of color who are expertly able to point out the racism as it persists, but we must also listen to ourselves and to our culture. Too many times we are not listening and this stuff slides past our consciousness. When a person of color points it out, too often we tell them that they are overreacting.

I feel that a good portion of the work I do comes down to this- Listen. (okay, listen and then don't be dumb). If we really listened to ourselves, our culture, those around us in the culture and how we fit into that culture and the impact we have on those around us, it would be ten times easier not to "be dumb." What's more, I believe that we could get a giant step closer to achieving the special task that we have been given as a diverse human culture- to thrive successfully together rather than deteriorate and destroy separately.

For another well put analysis of the kind of racism that continues to plague our culture, read Harry Allen's post: Are There Racists at Old Navy, or Do They Think That We’re Dummies?

Racism 101 : Apology Culture

I've been meaning to do a post about the sickening, ineffective, disingenuous apology culture in which we live. It seems necessary to expose this side of our process around racism that is such a disaster. It is that place that allows us to do damaging things to each other only to "issue an apology" the next day as if that will remove the damage done. It doesn't. Worse, usually the apologies themselves are as damaging as the original action. Worse still, the one doing the apologizing often becomes defensive when the inadequacy and inauthentic nature of their apology is pointed out to them. It raises the aura of "I hit you. I said I'm sorry. What more do you want?!" thereby turning the apologist themselves into a victim, forcing a backing off or in some instances (ironically) an apology from the person they have wronged.

It all makes me nauseated.
I hope to take the time later to go into this further, but for now, this picture, brought to my attention by Heather Day, will help to get at least part of the point across.

I don't know the creator of the image, so If you do, please post a credit to them below.

this just in via twitter: lilnerdette@damaliayo that image you have on your fb re: apology culture is from the comic "f minus" http://www.fminus.net/

thanks!

Racism 101: Figure it out.

This is why I am a hermit.
Last night I went to a much needed party. After having spent six hours with my taxes, human company was a welcomed end to my day. After greeting all the hosts and being introduced to the food, my first conversation,went like this:

"So, how long have you been growing...." a hand from a 50something man moves toward my hair.

I had plate in one hand, garden burger in another so as his hand reached, my body moved in tandem, with a kind of racial-aikido, away from his hand, keeping a distance enough so my hair remained out of his grasp.

"Ahh...ahh...rude." I muttered between garden burger chews. I was surprised at my present and very calm, yet clear reaction. It's taken decades to be this "in the moment" and I'm getting better at it. Probably because this response is strikingly similar to commands that I give when trying to train my dog away from bad or potentially dangerous behavior. "Nooo...nooo...no begging" is a common refrain around my house these days.

He looked stunned. I smiled.

"Thirteen years." I answered his actual question, finding it to be a logical one to ask about dreadlocks.

Quite honestly, I don't remember his response. I don't recall any further conversation. His expression faded from delighted child to chided puppy. His chin sank. I noticed because the direction of his chin drew my attention to his mock turtleneck. I hate mock turtlenecks. They should be outlawed or uninvented somehow in a way that will remove them from the face of the earth.

He wandered off.
I was pleased at the kind of presence I had. Believe it or not, I don't go into those situations expecting this kind of behavior from people. As much as it happens over and over and over again, I continue, stubbornly to insist that I can have a racism-free evening and enter into social occasions with the naivete of any other party-goer. So I am often caught off guard, and as a result, lack the type of patience it takes to deal with such situations, and end up in the "I offended that black lady" role.

Did I mention I was the only non-white person at this gathering?

The night continued, but it wasn't long before I was in another racial quagmire. I was still only half-way through my garden burger when a woman and I struck up a conversation. After a few short topics she started talking about how much fun it is to shoot a shotgun and how she goes out to the "rural areas" and does that for fun. She said the phrase "redneck" several times when referring to herself and friends who would go out and shoot. In fact she described her friends as "yuppie rednecks" which is an emerging and trendy category for sure. I nodded and said "I know exactly what you mean." Then she mentioned how it would be fun to empower women with target practice and that I might enjoy going out to the country and shooting things with her.

I stopped nodding.

Me: "Um, I don't think so. Probably not." I answered, politely, gazing around for another conversation to steal me away.

Pause.

Lady: "Why? Do you think your race would be a problem for people there?"

Now, here's an important point. Though later she would accuse me of brining race into the conversation simply by "being different," it was she who decided that my discomfort was a racial (as opposed to a violence, I don't know you, or general avoidance of crazy behavior) response. I admit, as thoughts of my grandfather who got run out of Mississippi by the Klan (a story which involved shot guns) ran through my head, that yes, racial discomfort was one of the things that crossed my mind.

Me: "Well, I don't think that *I* would have an issue with my race, no."
Lady: "I mean do you think that just because people are rural that they have some notion about you because you are urban or...(i don't recall the other euphemistic descriptors she used)."
Me: "Well, even in a setting like this," I motion to the party around us, "I often find urban, modern, supposedly enlightened people in their 50s saying and doing things that I wouldn't expect out of someone older than 8 or so. So I don't often press my luck with people who might not have that kind of sophistication."

I'll spare you the details of all that transpired- here are the highlights.

1• She went down the classic "How am i supposed to know?" path:

Lady: "I didn't mean to upset you." (note: I'm not at all upset) "I mean I didn't know that about lynchings and all of that, that hanging a noose would make someone uncomfortable?"
Me: "Really? You couldn't figure that out?"
Lady: "No, I mean, I didn't know."
Me: "Really? That's like saying you didn't know about swastikas."
Lady: "Right. I didn't know."
She's not even listening to me. Of course she knows that swastikas are a symbol of hatred. How can you know *about* lynchings but not figure out that nooses are a symbol of....lynchings? Or that lynchings are a symbol of hate? Is there a kind of "just getting to know you" lynching? Happy birthday lynching? No. No there is not. Put it together lady, it's not that hard.

2• Next she went down the path of trying to care for me (aka infantilization) by indulging her own guilt:
Lady: "You are obviously sad and I've made you uncomfortable."
Me: "I'm not sad, I'm just listening. I actually haven't said much. You've been talking quite a bit. It seems to me that you are the uncomfortable one."

3• Then there was the apology route:
Lady: "I"m sorry." Can I be that? Can I be sorry?"
I don't know how I responded to this one, I despise insincere or defensive apologies. I don't even hear them so I probably just gave her a blank stare.

Here's the thing. (and trust me, I mentioned this to her). It is not my fault or responsibility that you allow yourself to be willfully out of touch with the realities of the other members of our multiracial society. I'm not asking you to be black, i'm asking you to be a good American. We live in this country *with* each other, in case you haven't noticed. I firmly believe that we can be better by knowing the ways in which our actions affect our community members. Not knowing that a noose or a conversation about rednecks shootin' up stuff is going to make a person of color, particularly an African American uncomfrotable is not just inexcusable it's downright dumb. This is not a subtle thing to grasp- its incredibly obvious. She clarly already understood race relations on some level because she raised the question of race in the scenario. What is sad is that she, and many people, can't exercise their minds enough to follow that thought through to its logical conclusion and use the information to develop behaviors that reflect an understanding that allows them to treat those around them with respect and understanding.

Unfortuately, this whole thinking thing gets people really frustrated. They don't want to think, feel, grow, or examine themselves from another person's perspective. They want to blunder through, step on people, and then apologize after.

This is one of the great failings of our "community." And we can be better than this.

Which is why I do what I do.

I hung in there for a good long while. I thought that yeah, I am really just at peace and thought this really kind of messed up my relaxing night and now I am tense and irritated, I am not going to show that, I am going to try to sanely and politely engage this woman down for as long as I can because maybe this will turn out in a way that makes us both feel more human in the end.

4• But just then, she said this:
Lady: "You know my relatives came to this country and they were all Norwegian and they experienced a lot of racism because they were all blonde."
That was it.
Me: (Calmly) "That's not actually racism. And now I'm getting exhausted."

Before I was finished with the word 'exhausted,' she walked away, in a frustrated pout. I finished my garden burger, and went to inform my friend that she'd be hearing some 'feedback' about me after the party.

Pop Rocks: TV Probation

Book News
As much as I would rather be cheering on my favorite peeps of color in reality-world, my "other" reality has taken precedence (for a bit). Not only have real world events required my response, but, I am working on a new book and I have put myself on TV probation until I get to a place where I feel satisfied with it. Stay tuned, it is an explosion of the ridiculous notion that electing an African American president has made us a "post racism" country.

Reality Catch-up
So, help me get through- what is going on with chick on survivor? Are my brown peeps still holding on under Gordon's charming ass-kicking on Hell's kitchen? Don't worry about spoilers- and someone please tell me how the Asian Amerian brother-sister lawyer team is doing on the Amazing Race! They crack me up. Does the brother know he's gay? Do we? Favorite quote from last episode "I mean, who doesn't know Chekhov?" Apparently, most of the other self-involved Americans on the show....I miss the white collar red-necks. What happened to them?

Celebrity Apprentice
Okay maybe this is the real reason I needed a TV probation. I sunk to an all-new low and watched the Celebrity Apprentice. I had sworn off Trump the moment one of his prizes for a winning team a few years back was a trip to the Playboy Mansion....and "click" off went the TV. But last week I was bored and in that mind-can-only-take-melting kind of state and watched. Wow. Dennis Rodman- do you not realize that most of the general viewing audience *already* think that black people are lazy? Please do us a favor and get off your ass. Geez.

Rodney King on Celebrity Sober House
Oh! I forgot to mention this one entirely. Rodney King is on Celebrity Sober House! This is....well, wow. It's hard to articulate. Put it this way, there's so much material here that I started writing a curriculum around it. It's just too much for a blog post. A few images for your head: Rodney King with Dr. Drew at the site of his police beating. King puts down flowers and a bible on the highway median as Dr. Drew listens to him talk about forgiveness. Mind-boggling for billions of reasons. Later we are back at the house in group therapy with Rodney, Dr. Drew and a bunch of white washed up celebs who I cannot even identify because I don't recognize their faces or names. They are all wallowing in their poor choices and bad behaviors (which for the most part seem to continue even while they live in "sober house"). Rodney shares...he is the most sane and grounded of them all. They utter nonsensical things that attempt to bond them with Rodney's experience. Dr. Drew steps in "You don't want the kind of fame that Rodney had." No shit. How is his life at all comparable to theirs? Where is the analysis of the racism that led to his moment of "fame" which caused nationwide riots? Nationwide riots....shouldn't that be the first clue that "one of these kids is not like the others?"

Seriously, this is too rich. I really hope I get to teach a class on it.

American Idol
It is too painful for me to watch Anoop Desai. After Simon Cowell called him an "enthusiastic little dog" yet most people responded to Randy's calling him "Anoop Brown" (as in Bobby Brown's cousin) the racial moment of that show. What? Ugh. No. Wrong. Incorrect. I had to take a break. Sometimes I do really feel like the entire world is missing out on what is a very obvious and simple understanding of race. It's not that hard people.

See my next post....

Cheers and love!

lil'd

Racism 101: Animal Farm

I have been extremely busy these last few weeks so this is going to be a quick to-the-point post.

Here are the events to which I want to respond. They all fall into a shared category:

• NY Post Parodies Obama as a Chimpanzee
• Barnes and Noble Window display puts "Monkeys" book next to books of Obamas
• American Idol Judge Simon Cowell calls contestant Anoop Desai an "enthusiastic little dog"
• PETA wears KKK robes and hoods to protest the Westminster dog show.

I wanted to write a paragraph on each, but I truly and honestly don't have time.
So here it is:

Don't compare people of color to animals. It's racist.

Contrary to popular belief, I don't run around slapping the 'r-word' on lots of things, but this is pretty obvious. One time-tested tool of racism is the acts of dehumanizing people of color and what could be more clearly dehumanizing than to call a person of color an animal? And yes all those comparisons of olympic sprinters to "gazelles" count too. It's time for white people everywhere to face the music. People of color are actually people. We are people. Please refer to us as such.

I almost can't believe that I have to write this down, but then I recall the scores of willfully ignorant people I have heard commenting on these above situations in the past few weeks.

The worst part is the all too common excuse I hear: "If we didn't know it was racist, then it must be because we have moved beyond racism and all that stuff."

Give me a break.
Ignorance of the law does not make a person innocent.
If you don't know murder is wrong, you could still um...figure that out. And you'd still be held responsible for killing someone, no matter how "over" you thought their life already was.

A friend said to me recently that he feels racism is growing worse since the Obama election because now white people feel that they can do everything racist that they couldn't do before. The PETA actions speak loudly to this.

It also appalls me that white people, in order to believe that it is wrong to liken people of color to animals (or other racist actions for that matter), that some long, drawn-out, historical exhortation on the history of interlinkage of ape imagery with racism has to be put forth like a dissertation defense. It is beyond ironic that people who can't grasp the insulting nature of calling a person an animal would respond to an intellectual conversation about archetypes and the creation of oppressive imagery- but yet, they continue to make us jump through hoops, like the circus animals to which they compare us, in order to explain the error of their ways, which they frame as *our* outrage: "can you explain why this makes you so angry?"

Sometimes I think my work is about combating racism- then other days I think that the real problem at hand is willful ignorance. It is embarrassing to me as a human member of this planet how intentionally ignorant and downright stupid my fellow humans can be, and worse, that they seem to revel in it.

So my message to my fellow countrymen and citizens of our shared world is this:
Don't be racist. A good step in that direction- don't be dumb.